Halloween

She picked out her halloween costume in mid-September. Since then she was ready to go get candy. We made a countdown paper chain as we creeped one day at a time closer to Halloween.

She remembered last year – how it all worked. You wear a costume, you say trick or treat, you get candy. She was pumped.

The day finally arrived and she couldn’t wait to “Go to Toshi’s house and wear my marshal costume and get candy!”

But as excited as she was…I was just as nervous for her. Tons of kids wearing random costumes, walking around from house to house, saying “trick or treat” to people she doesn’t know…over and over. All I could see was a recipe for major anxiety.

We had a therapy appointment that morning and I’m so grateful for the timing. Dr. R and I had a chance to talk through expectations for the night and she reminded me that tonight was all about fun. Tonight was not the night to hold her to high standards. She suggested making a little sign that Stevie could hold that said “Trick or Treat” on it as a backup.

Dr. R and Stevie went around the office and practiced trick or treating. Then she had Stevie and I go around the office and practice again. She was amazing. She even told a few of the people what she was going to be and what her favorite candy was (M&Ms…the yellow ones…!) She even told one person her name was Stevie. We worked on saying Thank you and trick or treat. It was so good.

We went home and made her sign. She got dressed in her Marshall Costume and we drove over to our friends’ house to trick or treat.

When we got there I could tell her anxiety had been triggered. She was quiet and was starting to shut down.

The original plan for Coco to stay at home or for me to hold him was a no go. So with Coco in the arms of a now hesitant Marshall we set off.

With some encouraging she walked up to the first house with her friends. And to our surprise very quietly whispered, “Trick or treat” She turned around and walked back to us – beaming.

She showed us the candy in her basket and said, “Lets do that again!” And off she went.

From house to house for over an hour she trekked up and down sidewalks and streets as her basket grew increasingly full.

After a few houses it became clear that Coco was just one more thing to carry so she passed him off to me and carried on. Later her basket was weighing her down so she passed that off to me as well and continued forward…there was more candy to be had!

After over an hour she hit a wall. She was physically tired. I never would have imagined that her feet hurting her is what would end her trick or treating adventure for the night.

There were no emotional outbursts, no anxiety-driven meltdowns. She even fell and busted it at one point and got up, dusted herself off and kept going. Her cute trick or treat sign that we had made just in case lay unused at the bottom of her candy basket – which was filled to the brim.

She was a rockstar. She was brave. She was inspiring.

She is taking steps – just like we all do in our lives. She continues to do hard things. She also still has really hard days where meltdowns roll in one after another. But she picks herself up, dusts herself off, and keeps going.